I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
