She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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