HIV tests are more positive than that guy
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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