her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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