I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
