Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she pinky promised me she was 18
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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