Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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