I'm drive I can fine osifer
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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