Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move

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(949): View more from California

dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat

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(614): View more from Ohio

My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.

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(850): View more from Florida

He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk

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(317): View more from Indiana

Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?

(1-317): View more from Indiana

No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.

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