Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
