I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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