If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Damn victory sex feels great
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