i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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