Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
