using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
