there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I came so hard my ears popped.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
