census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
