it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
