I wanna passion pit in your ass
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
