I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize