omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
