I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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