dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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