Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
