Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
