thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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