I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
