i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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