I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
