Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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