perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's always time for handjobs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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