I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
