So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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