they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
