so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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