i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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