So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
