Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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