we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize