Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
