We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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