This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
