kristin has been a bad kristin
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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