I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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