playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
