I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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