hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
