This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
