Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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