If that was your dad, he is hot
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
