remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
