We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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