So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize