hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
