Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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