can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
