You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
