Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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