I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
