Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
