i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
